The Matrimonial Mixup

As I mentioned in my last blog, I was awaiting the arrival of my mail-order bride.

Well, there's some bad news.

In an attempt to cut costs of bringing her into the country, I decided to book the flight online with Traveltron5000.com. That site seemed to have great rates for online travel. Now I know why it was so cheap.
First of all, rather than first class like I had arranged for her to be flown here, they put her in a cargo plane full of chickens.
Second, they, for some reason, flew her to Panama.

When I tried to book a flight online to bring her to the intended destination, I was informed that she had said that she didn't want to fly to America. Apparently, she had met somebody in Panama, and opted to marry him instead of me.

Bummer.

One more Dolph Lundgren Joke. . .

I ran into Dolph Lundgren the other day (really. . .).
"Hey, Dolph," I said. "How the heck is it going?"
"Good," Dolph replied. "I've been really busy working on my new movie."
In an attempt to hide my utter lack of interest, I decided to go ahead and ask about the movie.
He explained to me that the new movie will be a Rocky spin-off. He will be reviving the Ivan Drago character. There didn't seem to be much of a premise, though. They had hired Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts to co star. The movie would be called Dungys and Dragos.

Waaaah waaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Admit it, that's good stuff. . .

Mitchell's Getting Married

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting married!

I just ordered the bride yesterday, and she should be on her way into the country as we speak.

Once she's here, I plan to contact Rainbow Fireworks about setting up some awesome fireworks displays for the wedding. A lot of people don't actually think about fireworks at a wedding, but they should realize that it's a good way to celebrate a special day (or show off your new mail-order bride).

You're all welcome to join Ling Pao and I for the special day and enjoy an amazing fireworks show.